Friday, February 19, 2010

Living in Reality

I am trying to be honest these days. Not that I was ever really dishonest.. I guess what I really mean is I am trying to honestly look at everything.  How I feel, what needs to be done, what makes me happy, what makes me unhappy. Now I know that some people are always in touch with their feelings etc.  For me, I tend to feel things about three days later.  Something bad can happen and I seem to cope fabulously initially and then collapse later.   Like three days later. Or maybe later than that. This can be an annoying problem because sometimes when I am feeling down, or depressed or fearful - its about something that happened three days ago. And I can't always remember what happened three days ago.  So today I am trying to live in reality. Today's reality.  Feeling all my feelings today.  Accepting whatever is going on as it really is... today.  I am not completely sure I like this.  It's easier to accept yesterday because it has already happened and what can you do about it?  I mean if I have to accept today on its own terms I might have to be honest about my feelings in the present moment.  Oddly, nothing bad is going on today... but I have that "waiting for the other shoe to drop" kind of feeling.  In fact I am not aware of any shoes that have dropped.  A shoe might have dropped three days ago. But I can't remember. So why am I feeling this way?  This is the kind of trouble I get into when I attempt to live in a present moment.  If I can wait three days, it gives me perspective on whatever was going on and I can decide how I should feel then... Hmmm. I don't know how I feel about that.
I guess I will find out in a couple of days.

5 comments:

  1. Hey there! Here to follow you back from Friday Follow! :) Thanks for stopping by My Pet Savings!

    Kristy from http://www.mypetsavings.com

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  2. We are all so used to running from our emotions and hiding that it takes a little time for those emotions to catch up! Maybe your higher power has given you the gift of time to learn how to sit with those emotions as they happen. Love and peace and serenity.

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  3. Peg, Nice to meeet you.

    I'm a graduate of Biola's Bold program....2006. I then went on to take coach training with the Institute of Life Coach Training. I work with boomers in all kinds of transitions. I'll enjoy reading your posts.

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  4. I found you through Friday Follow, and I'm your newest shiny follower! I am JUST like this! I need time to think through events in the past. I'm looking forward to reading more about how you overcome this in the future:)

    I hope you will over to my blog and follow too! :)

    Shan
    http://milkandcuddles.com/

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