Creep Factor 102: An example of a bad cover letter

So we still haven't opened the package. I know some of you have written me on Facebook to tell me that you would just rip it open to see the exciting contents. So we are carefully exploring it. My brave daughter while examining it, discovered this cover letter tucked under the duct tape on the outside of the package. As you look at the picture, I just want to go on record and categorically say... I am not making this stuff up!  Let me just say that as a cover letter (it literally was on the cover of the box..) it is at once curious and possibly even more strange than the package. I'm thinking it's the red bow that really makes a statement.  Stay tuned for more updates!

Creep Factor 101: How NOT to get an agent to read your submission!

As a Literary Manager I get hundreds of submissions of material. Letters, treatments, scripts, books. All from people who hope to be discovered or to have their life stories seen on the big screen. Yesterday I received this package.  Really. Would YOU open this package? My whole family stood around it curious and slightly frightened.  My daughter said " How bad can it be? It has a snowman on it?" I don't know. Is it the strange scrawl, or perhaps the duct tape and no return address that makes me think...angry hermit living in woods writing apocalyptic manifestos?
So far we haven't opened it.  Now if someone who is reading this blog happens to be the sender, I don't mean to be cruel, I am just trying to make a point. If you really want me to read your material think about how you present it. Sadly in Hollywood we do judge a book by it's cover. And snowman notwithstanding, this package is failing at many levels. I imagine it was sent by someone elderly who couldn't get to the store to buy packing materials. Or perhaps someone who had lots of extra duct tape and liberty stamps trying to be frugal. Maybe one of my well meaning relatives sent it. Perhaps after I put on a padded suit, plastic gloves and move the package to an undisclosed location, I will find out what's in it.  No. I think it's going into the trash. Somebody else's trash.