Saturday, August 28, 2010

Thank God for Doctors!

I just had surgery last week. I had an umbilical hernia that needed fixing. Nothing as major as a heart bypass. But still surgery. Doctors, nurses, the pinging sound of machines that take your blood pressure and heart rate. The smell of clean. Everyone is professional, positive. Cheerful. You will feel some pressure here... i.e. pain. This may pinch a little. (More pain). You may experience some discomfort after you wake up... ( A LOT OF PAIN). No one ever likes to say the actual word pain. Although there is a little smiley face sign on the wall with little frowny circles that indicate your level of discomfort. I think Yellow is no pain. Purple is SCREAMING. But you are to rate it from one to ten. One being nothing to ten being massive amounts of expletives delivered at high volume. Luckily I was only at 9 right after my procedure and spent most of my stay in the six and seven frowny face range.

I don't recommend surgery if you can avoid it - but thank God we have doctors that know how to do this stuff. My two surgeons were wonderful, funny women. My hernia surgeon, Dr. Leslie Memsic is a tiny, hilarious lady who could easily have a second career as a stand up comic. Dr. Lisa Cassileth, my plastic surgeon is a gorgeous willowy blonde with a down to earth sense of humor. Both of them really helped me feel like this wasn't going to end in some tragic scene shot in the rain with black umbrellas. They made me feel like they knew what they were doing and things would be fine. No promises... just assurance. For years I have had male doctors for most everything that I have needed. Men delivered my two children. My primary care doctor that I have had (and dearly love)for ten years is a man. But this time it was two funny women. Which is exactly what I needed. Maybe there are more women going into medicine these days. I hope so. There have always been women in the nursing profession which in my opinion is the least appreciated most important job in the WORLD. But it was great to have women doctors. Like mom's who are really good with scalpels.

Anyway male or female I completely appreciate the years of training and skill anyone needs to have to take a deep personal look under my skin. If my mechanic messes up... well I might need a new car. If my surgeon makes a mistake... not such a good outcome.

So now as I sit at home recuperating for the next couple of weeks I get to think about how to better take care of my body. Maybe feed it better. Give it more exercise. More rest. Less stress. So that I don't need the services of these highly trained professionals again any time soon. And now, a week after the surgery even the memory of the pain and fear is diminishing. But not my thankfulness. For them. For their gifts and abilities and for God who is the great healer of us all. My doctors can treat the problems but God mysteriously helps my body to heal.
So thank you Dr. Lisa and Dr. Leslie and to all doctors everywhere. And thank you God for providing me with two such wonderful women at precisely the right time.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Waiting: Again

So here I am waiting again! Maybe today it will only be for a few hours or it could be for a few more weeks. In all honesty I HATE WAITING. I have learned to adapt to people not being on time. I have learned how to do other things, read, focus on other stuff when some big announcement is coming. But I think the hardest part of waiting is when you are at the last threshold -- when you know you have only one more hurdle to jump over. When there is only one more "T" to cross and "i" to dot. That to me is the absolute worst time. And it doesn't matter what you are waiting for. The cute guy to call you back. The last week before giving birth. The results of a medical test. It's when you know that your answer or the event is GOING to happen but you just don't know when. For me this is when the control madness takes over. I want to do ANYTHING to make the last few hours/seconds/days pass quickly. And of course time just SLOOOOOOWS down. Even when someone is talking to me - it's like their voice has even deepened and slowed. Everything is moving at a snail's pace.

And I am not a slow person. My whole life has been on fast forward -- except for these horrible times of waiting. I read fast, talk fast, make fast decisions, write fast, eat fast. Fast. Quick. Speedy. That's me. Let's go, go go!!! So I guess maybe this waiting business is something God does to me - to help me realize who really is in charge. And it's not me. I have absolutely NO CONTROL over anything except my emotional state at any given time. And I barely can control that. I can't control my husband, children, grandchildren, the traffic, cashiers, bureaucrats, the government. Nobody. No control. Sigh.

So here I am. I can control what I write about. So today it's about waiting. Maybe tomorrow it will be about discovery or having or being. But today my job in my tiny little universe is to WAIT. Thanks God. I will do my best. But I do have a little teeny tiny prayer. Please hurry up!

Monday, August 9, 2010

End of the Summer Blues

Since I am a teacher, my summer is coming to a close very quickly. Next week will begin the whirlwind of the new semester. Lots of meetings, stuff to read, questions to answer and course descriptions to write. And just as that week comes to a close the students arrive. I love my job. I love teaching. I love the students. But that doesn't mean that I won't miss my lovely lazy summer days.

This past summer I had a number of things that I was supposed to do, but because of scheduling and economics I spent my vacation at home.... doing.... nothing. Well, nothing by society's standards. Obviously I must have done something. I sat on my front porch with my granddaughter and watched butterflies. I read her books about dinosaurs and monkeys. I watched reruns with my husband and daughter. I drank lots of stylish Starbuck's coffee, read lots of books, went to the beach, visited my mom and dreamed big dreams.

In my Fall, Spring and Winter life I am too hopelessly over committed to do such luxurious things. If the economy had been more favorable we would have probably traveled more, spent more, shopped more. But this summer was more like my childhood summers of old where money didn't dictate happiness. Joy came from the natural rhythms of life.

Knowing summer was coming to and end, I have been resisting this change back to my workday self for the past two weeks. Dreading it really. I wish it could be summer always. But I guess life can't have an up without a down. We need to be busy so we can understand what calm is. It wouldn't be a vacation if we didn't have something to take a break from. But summer isn't over yet. I do have six more days left. I am going to try to take advantage of them. I am going to stay up late, take a nap and squeeze in at least one more day at the beach! And my husband keeps reminding me that summer is actually not over until September 21st. Hmmm... I wonder if I could just call in sick until then....Probably not. I guess I better get busy and finish relaxing!