Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Back to the Real World

I had a lovely week living in a fantasy world about my Big Dream. I did some research, bought some books, talked to some people, made some lists. I pretended and imagined.  I dressed the part and spoke positively.  But my research turned up some real concerns. My dream started fading, or at least shifting, changing.  And then I looked at my checkbook. And the stack of bills,  the laundry,  the papers to grade, the plumbing that needs to be fixed, the car that needs brakes.  And I had to wake up.  Or deal.  Or just lie down with a rag on my forehead.  Dreams are so exciting. They are so pretty. Shiny. Perfect. And then there is the real world. In reality things are shiny only if you shine them.  Pretty occurs when you work at it.  Perfection... probably doesn't really exist at all.  Because life isn't perfect.  Life just -- is.  Heaven will be perfect but until that happens.. and frankly, I am not in a hurry,  life will be what it is.  So what does that mean to us dreamers?  I don't know.  I know that all the art and great achievements of this world would not have occurred if someone hadn't dreamed about it.  Light bulbs, air conditioning, computers ... all came from someone dreaming up a better way to do something.  If it weren't for dreamers we would all still be collecting rocks and living in caves, and trying to stay one step ahead of saber toothed tigers.  Dreams and Faith. We have to first imagine it and then have faith that it can happen.  And then there is that leaving the results up to God part.  Even when it looks impossible.  Even if we have to adjust to what it is until we can find the courage or resources or opportunity to move toward where we would like to be.  There are time when I really wish God would let me in on what He has planned for me.  There are times like today when I feel like I thought I had seen a glimmer of light only to lose it. Which basically leaves me groping around in the dark.  Maybe it is times like this when I just need to sit back, rest and wait.  Wait for the next little spec of light.  For the next little piece of the puzzle.  Waiting. Not my favorite thing to do.  But I have done everything else I could think of to do. So that is what's left.  But while I wait I can do whatever is in front of me to be done.  And I can continue to dream.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Big Dream

Every now and then I get a BIG DREAM.  I am not sure where it comes from. I would like to think from God. But when that big dream or big idea happens it always means BIG CHANGES are coming. And that isn't always comfortable.  Last week the sermon in church was do dream the impossible.  So I started thinking about what that might look like and I was surprised. It has been quite a while since I had a big dream.  In fact every time I have one of these "dream" ideas - they come true.  Not immediately of course.  But I know when the dream presents itself, that I am in for a major roller coaster experience.

About 23 years ago my life was in tatters.  I was a divorced, bankrupt, single mom with no money, a house that was falling down around my ears and no idea what was next. And it was in the midst of this lowest point of my life that I hatched a dream to come to Hollywood! A big dream with no logical way of realizing it.  But a year later I had somehow sold my, house, moved and had a job in Los Angeles.  3 years later I was a literary agent and soon had the big office, big salary and V.P. title.  A lot can happen with a big dream.  Then 9 years ago that dream changed.  I had a profound spiritual experience.  I had always believed in God and certainly had plenty of miraculous experiences that seemed to verify my faith, but it was then that I came to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  As strange and as maybe cliche as it sounds, I truly was reborn spiritually.  And my course in life changed again.  It took a couple of years but through completely bizarre, wonderful and God-led circumstances I started teaching at a wonderful university and working with talented and inspiring writers and film makers.

And now a new dream is percolating.  I am not able to completely give voice to it yet because it is still in its seedling (maybe seed) stage. So I am not sure what it will look like - just yet.  But it feels big, and impossible and exhilarating.  Which is why I think God is involved.

I just don't know how it all fits together yet.  But maybe that is the excitement of new dreams.  Like a roller coaster we don't know for sure where all the twists and turns and ups and downs are, which is what makes it fun.... or terrifying.  Do you have a big dream?  You know that crazy dream that when you drop off to sleep at night you think about but immediately dismiss it because it just seems too - unlikely.  I don't mean that random daydream that just flits through. I mean that sort of nagging idea that comes back again and again.  For days, months, years.  That just may be God trying to get your attention.  That may be God calling you. Whispering to you.  Telling you to get outside your self and to see you as He sees you - beloved.  God wants the very best for us.  In Jeremiah 29:11 Hes says, "For I know the plans I have for you. For good and not for evil.  To give you hope and a future."
Are you dreaming the impossible? Why not?
Because with God all things are possible.