A while back I was talking to a friend and told her I felt like I was one of those people in the circus who stands on a see saw and balances plates on poles and keeps all of them spinning. They start with one plate, then add two and soon they are balancing on one leg and spinning plates on both hands, the top of their head, and even on their nose. It feels like a perfect metaphor for my life.
My friend asked me why I didn't just let some of those plates drop. A good question. But which plates do I let drop? Would it be the mother plate? The teacher plate? The wife plate? The friend plate? The graduate student plate? And of course my real fear is if one of these plates drop then they are all going to start dropping! Just writing about this makes me tired. But it also reminds me that when I believe that I am the only one spinning the plates then eventually they are all going to drop.
The problem with this viewpoint is that it puts me square in the center of the universe. And I'm not. God is. When God is in the center of the universe (As He always is and should be) then He gets to spin the plates and I can step off the the balance beam. In truth the only thing I really need to keep in balance is my relationship with God. And if you really think about it - God is so big and I am so little that there is no way to stay in balance with God except to allign myself with His will and let Him do the balancing act. So how do I do this? I start by letting go. I let everyone in my life live their lives in the best way they can. I let God direct my steps. I pray and ask for guidance when I need it and then I let God take the rest. I stop worrying. Fretting. Spinning. I trust. I trust that God will give me the strength, knowledge, time or whatever else I need when I need it, and then I try to enjoy each day, each moment as it come. Sounds simple but it's not so easy for a veteran plate spinner like me. Oddly, I was never very good at spinning plates. Actually not good at all. I would have never made it to Barnum and Bailey. So, today or at least for the next few minutes I am going to let the Master do this work for me. He is actually pretty good at it.