Living in Reality

I am trying to be honest these days. Not that I was ever really dishonest.. I guess what I really mean is I am trying to honestly look at everything.  How I feel, what needs to be done, what makes me happy, what makes me unhappy. Now I know that some people are always in touch with their feelings etc.  For me, I tend to feel things about three days later.  Something bad can happen and I seem to cope fabulously initially and then collapse later.   Like three days later. Or maybe later than that. This can be an annoying problem because sometimes when I am feeling down, or depressed or fearful - its about something that happened three days ago. And I can't always remember what happened three days ago.  So today I am trying to live in reality. Today's reality.  Feeling all my feelings today.  Accepting whatever is going on as it really is... today.  I am not completely sure I like this.  It's easier to accept yesterday because it has already happened and what can you do about it?  I mean if I have to accept today on its own terms I might have to be honest about my feelings in the present moment.  Oddly, nothing bad is going on today... but I have that "waiting for the other shoe to drop" kind of feeling.  In fact I am not aware of any shoes that have dropped.  A shoe might have dropped three days ago. But I can't remember. So why am I feeling this way?  This is the kind of trouble I get into when I attempt to live in a present moment.  If I can wait three days, it gives me perspective on whatever was going on and I can decide how I should feel then... Hmmm. I don't know how I feel about that.
I guess I will find out in a couple of days.